Zealou
-by Vee
Zealou
Thursday, 11 November 2021
saro.
Thursday, 27 May 2021
Her Story
Grief
grief is so intrusive and personal to one
that, seldom it leaves me devastated
a young woman grieving over a lost
relationship,
an adult grieving over a financial loss,
an old adult grieving over losing their spouse,
an old aged human
grieving over ravages of time
Perhaps I choose to talk about her story, the story of a
young woman, lamenting for time and again over the lost essence of her
relationship, SiSi.
SiSi was just a teenager when she realized an acquaintance with GiGi was turning into just more than that. It is as weird as the 2 am texts and 4 am drunk calls to someone nowadays. Like every other teenager, Sisi got attracted to the inadequate attention and dingy gestures by GiGi. They both used to go to school together on the same school bus and that's how things started. Young Sisi now started reserving a seat for her boyfriend GiGi, letting him enter her la la land love stories. As days passed, SiSi and GiGi started going out for lunches at the cafeteria and fell in love with each other so much so that they could promise the world to each other no matter what. On the other hand, SiSi was a beautiful, little, gossip queen, her GiGi, short-tempered, controlling, and demanding. She would succumb to all his demands and in turn, was misemployed, maltreated, and misused. His ruthless actions injured her day by day, mentally, emotionally, and physically. She, new to the world of romance, believed that this was all merely a part of their relationship. As school ended, the school bus ended, she realized as a mature young lady, that she was going wrong, that GiGi was wrong, and took a decision to redirect their relationship. After a bazillion failed attempts towards modifying Gigi’s behavior and their relationship. She gave up, decided to depart, to flee away from a relationship of 3 years that was getting onto her nerves now. Being obsessed with SiSi, GiGi didn’t let go of her, for it had become a daily routine to him. It’s been 6 years now, she feels trapped in this hurdle called a relationship, she finds herself locked up in a room with no windows throwing in sunlight, the light of hope, the light of happiness. For she has left it over to a rainy day!
promises.
trust. communication. intimacy. are all alien to her.
denial.
skepticism. abuse. force. are all native to her.
And that’s her story!
For she, wanted to
engrave their names into the sand before the sea waters hugged and drifted it
away.
For he, just wasn't
listening to her story, neither
did he wish to do so any soon?
Thursday, 20 May 2021
2 am thoughts
2 am thoughts
I owe it to the wet pillow nights,
It appears that, When nothing else worked, I
made peace with the fact of not being able to make peace with certain
situations. And I think that's working out in my case!
TIME.
time is
supposed to heal everything, at least that’s what I’ve heard from most of ‘em
but in my case why does time always have to be this ugly?
can we
fix it?
or let’s
face it, can we fix anything here?
ARRIVAL / DEPARTURE.
A relationship is a state of being connected
with another person, share mutual affection, the conviviality of a human with
one another.
Lucky are those, to achieve the essence of
relationships in its true sense, to be able to have found relationships in its
true sense, to be able to enjoy it.
Talking of my life I like to give importance to
the “other” person in any relationship I share, be it friendship, a love
relationship, or simply with parents or siblings. I love being in the space
wherein I do things as the others want it to be done; For instance, I like
having food of the other person's type, I like to watch movies as liked by
others, I like having drinks as the other person likes it. In fact, I adapt to
the situations, and sooner or later, their likes and dislikes are no different
to mine, I simply like being this person and giving the sense of responsibility
to make decisions for me to the "other" person in the relationships I
share with people around me respectively but, what I only don’t like is when
the person suddenly decide to not be with me!
Departuring, leaving the special bond behind,
leaving the relationship, leaving the situation. Some intentionally while
others, unintentionally. Some temporarily while others permanently.
The more
I hate this emotion is the more I'm getting the chance to experience it with
different people day by day, trust me the number is just incredibly increasing.
yes!
leave is how one would label it to be,
it
shatters me, to the bottom of my heart to even type this word out, it makes my
hands shiver, stomach giggle, and goosebumps tickle, imagine for me to
experience it, it’s the worst sense of emotion to experience. Obnoxious
No sympathies intended I know myself, not an
easy person to be with at all, but come on, everybody has their ups and downs,
lows and highs; does that mean you only get one option of leaving? Departure.
Adding on to the problems is the situation I
land into worse than experiencing the emotion of going away from a person, is
the opportunity to not find a way out.
Giving you a little personality insight; I
possess a need to control my surroundings.
And therefore, this is the worst punishment to
this overthinker girl.
Given the situational hurdle and my
extraordinary skills of overthinking, I’m currently obsessed with the question
of solution.
Being the kind of person who hates to give up,
even in life-threatening situations, I finally have a solution to it after
ages, after ages of self-doubting, self-grief, self-isolation,
self-distraction.
ESCAPE-
“a form of a temporary distraction from reality
or routine”, As the google guru describes it.
For me, escape is my temporary survival, my
best of friends, my savior.
A virtual learner
In the
future, I’d prefer a physical classroom over online classes ANYDAY
No doubt I
can learn at my comfort, laying in my bed at a click right now but I just don’t
like it, online teaching has made me lose the teacher-student bond I enjoyed
having, it has made me disconnect with the term “education” and the relevance
it held in my life.
Online teaching just sounds
uninteresting to me now, quite honestly, I miss the physical setting of
learning which we were exposed to, wherein I had my hands on information being
taught, wherein I was serious, attentive and, ardent to learn. And now whenever I hear online classes I
sense a kind of laziness in my attitude which leads to being inattentive in
class. it has made me lethargic and has developed a kind of attitude I don’t
like having in me. I agree that we do have alternatives to each and everything
but I feel like I’ve lost it all to this virtual world.
I wasn’t the sincerest kid
of the class ever, but I loved the process called learning, where we were
lowkey allowed to crack jokes for good, ask all the unnecessary doubts to our
teachers. And to the days where teachers practiced different modes to teach us
weird concepts, sometimes in the ground under the sun in chilly winters while
others on a walk to the campus garden.
For a fact,
students learn at the face value of their teachers, I still remember, once I
was walking through the corridors and I happen to cross by one of my biology
teachers and laughed out loud remembering the most unfunny joke she cracked to
explain reflex action to us, for which I was taken to the vice principal later
but that's what it is, mixed feelings are the best for me. And now, we hardly
know our teachers through their display pictures, for most of them we don’t
even have one.
To be
honest, bunking classes were a different experience altogether and let’s agree
we as students sometimes liked the scolds from teachers too just to gossip
about it amongst friends later but thanks
to the virtual world for taking it all from us with a jerk.
“The
beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from
you”, Although this quote was written long back but it makes sense
to me now; you can learn at a click now and forever with the coming of the
virtual world. This world has enabled people to switch to digital platforms and
in such a manner that it can never be undone now!
Online
classes are very convenient and allows space to follow other passions in life.
It helps you grow personally because there’s no one on your head to get things
done, you learn self-discipline. Furthermore, Online classes have made me save
a lot on money and energy, it has reduced the cost of travelling, expenditure
on food and other trends that aligns with a student’s college social life
nowadays. Talking of the benefits, it has contributed a major part towards
saving time and energy, it has helped me spend more time with my family, helps
me stay energetic throughout the day and spend it to its fullest. Of course, on
the other hand it has limited the time spent with friends but like I said,
mixed feelings have it all for me.
More than anything else, online classes provides you with
the freedom of learning in a comfortable environment. With the ability to learn
anywhere, online learners can complete coursework at home, a coffee shop, or a
library. If you ask me, I love to complete all my work at my terrace garden
because I just love connecting with the nature. This advantage of online
learning allows students to work in the environment that suits best to them. To
add to it, online classes help you enhance your technical skills which are the
utmost important in this 21st century. New skills can include the
ability to use new software suites, perform in-depth online research, and
communicate online through different platforms effectively such as discussion
boards, teleconferencing, email-in and many more. Not to forget, stepping into
the virtual world has helped me learn how to write an email, yes that’s true.
Despite belonging to the generation Z, I didn’t know how to write an email. The
first time I had to write an email, was for this internship organisation I had
to roll in and I got so blank, none of the formats learnt theoretically in
school worked, thanks to google and YouTube for helping me walk through it ever
since.
To conclude, Online classes
have their pros and cons. It’s comforting and destructive at the same time. For
me online classes were just experiential. Nothing more or less. At the end what
matters is the experience, after all experience is what I was supposed to be be
typing in here.
Everybody has their own preferences. What do you
think?
Meeting link or entering late to the classroom?
Video conferencing or chilling in the corridors?
Homemade coffee or canteen’s tea?
Ms word or a notebook?
Typing or writing?
For I
shall prefer a physical classroom over online classes ANYDAY