2 am thoughts

 

2 am thoughts

I owe it to the wet pillow nights,

It appears that, When nothing else worked, I made peace with the fact of not being able to make peace with certain situations. And I think that's working out in my case!

 

 TIME.

 time is supposed to heal everything, at least that’s what I’ve heard from most of ‘em but in my case why does time always have to be this ugly?

 can we fix it?

 or let’s face it, can we fix anything here?

 

ARRIVAL / DEPARTURE.

A relationship is a state of being connected with another person, share mutual affection, the conviviality of a human with one another.

Lucky are those, to achieve the essence of relationships in its true sense, to be able to have found relationships in its true sense, to be able to enjoy it.

Talking of my life I like to give importance to the “other” person in any relationship I share, be it friendship, a love relationship, or simply with parents or siblings. I love being in the space wherein I do things as the others want it to be done; For instance, I like having food of the other person's type, I like to watch movies as liked by others, I like having drinks as the other person likes it. In fact, I adapt to the situations, and sooner or later, their likes and dislikes are no different to mine, I simply like being this person and giving the sense of responsibility to make decisions for me to the "other" person in the relationships I share with people around me respectively but, what I only don’t like is when the person suddenly decide to not be with me!

 Departuring, leaving the special bond behind, leaving the relationship, leaving the situation. Some intentionally while others, unintentionally. Some temporarily while others permanently.

 The more I hate this emotion is the more I'm getting the chance to experience it with different people day by day, trust me the number is just incredibly increasing.

 

 yes! leave is how one would label it to be,

 it shatters me, to the bottom of my heart to even type this word out, it makes my hands shiver, stomach giggle, and goosebumps tickle, imagine for me to experience it, it’s the worst sense of emotion to experience. Obnoxious

 

No sympathies intended I know myself, not an easy person to be with at all, but come on, everybody has their ups and downs, lows and highs; does that mean you only get one option of leaving? Departure.

Adding on to the problems is the situation I land into worse than experiencing the emotion of going away from a person, is the opportunity to not find a way out.

Giving you a little personality insight; I possess a need to control my surroundings.

And therefore, this is the worst punishment to this overthinker girl.

Given the situational hurdle and my extraordinary skills of overthinking, I’m currently obsessed with the question of solution.

 

Being the kind of person who hates to give up, even in life-threatening situations, I finally have a solution to it after ages, after ages of self-doubting, self-grief, self-isolation, self-distraction.

 

ESCAPE-

“a form of a temporary distraction from reality or routine”, As the google guru describes it.

For me, escape is my temporary survival, my best of friends, my savior.